Hello February

I feel like my entire life is just waiting for AF.

Oh well.

I saw Dr Curly mid-January and it was informative. I’m definitely glad I brought things to his attention otherwise it would have been lost in the shuffle. My next  protocol will remain the same except I will suppress with marvelon and suprefact. Yes. The marvelon madness will be back. I already feel bad for Nanuq. Ha!!! The little follicle that was growing was not supposed to happen so we are doubling down this time. It does mean a longer fet cycle but all I seem to have is time. If this transfer doesn’t work, he will look into what else could be causing this. On the bright side, he will do my transfer next time. The last time he was around my last bits it hurt like hell. Fingers crossed next time is better!

Who knew it would be this hard?

My family doctor had me start taking B12, it can’t hurt can it?

I have been mostly non-stressed in life and at work. Mostly. I had a bit of a breakdown at work on Friday. The incessant demands get to me. Plus my new employee completely struggles with time. I almost lost it when she missed a meeting and a deadline. I slept it off and I’m committed to getting back to my happy place. I will continue meditating and learning to focus my mind.

One of the neat things about this year is that I have been cooking up a storm. It’s what I do on Sunday nights and it has been very successful. Well. Except for the vegetarian chili where I added turkey. Mind you, it was a taste success but a vegetarian failure. I have this great sense if accomplishment when I’m done. I’ve managed to freeze a lot of food. Why? When I take some time off post transfer, I will have food ready to go!

I had a weird dream last night about my awesome winter will coat. Random. I know.

Not much else to say. I’ve been avoiding fertility boards and happy to focus my life elsewhere. When it warms up, I’m going to learn to kill people. Or do yoga. Or maybe both! What?!?!! 🙂

All in all, I’m in a better place and I hope this positivity impacts my future embryo in the best way possible!

IVF #1 – Update 2

Today’s drive to Montreal was pretty calm. I did pull over at one point to give myself orgalutran. Good times!

I picked up my suprefact from the pharmacy. Well, I picked it up from the building next to the pharmacy since the pharmacy is closed today. It looks complicated. This will be the first time that I inject myself with something that isn’t pre-filled. I have a degree in chemistry so this really shouldn’t be too hard. Of course, after that first orgalutran debacle, I know this will be another gong show. Adventures in procreation!

Quick aside. My clinic has stickers of sperm all over the floor. To find your way around, you’re just supposed to follow the sperm. Seriously. Men are leaving samples like crazy. That room needs a lumalight to check the walls. They aren’t even cleaning it in between deposits.

So I just finished my ultrasound. The technician has an amazing shoe game. My right side is packed. Lefty is lazy. I have about 18 follicles growing above 10mm. A bunch still hovering around 10mm. I feel like I should to do acupuncture or something to stimulate my left ovary. Poor thing. So they have decided that my ER will be on Tuesday morning bright and early. I trigger with suprefact tonight at 10PM. I’m currently waiting for my E2 level to know if I will need dostinex or not. I’m not sure what dostinex does, but I may need it.

The nurse, we will call her Silver Converse, said I’m still at risk for OHSS. The dostinex is to help reduce the risk of that. I really like her. She has been amazing so far and is definitely the most competent nurse in this place. Her advice was that if I notice ANY signs of OHSS, go to the hospital. Now, the hospital where I live isn’t winning awards for its competency. I say this because I was once having a serious asthma attack and they recommended I go to a walk in clinic without even checking my lung capacity. 😐

I was hoping to do my ER on Wednesday but my follicles aren’t waiting for anybody. I have meetings at work, but that place is about to screw me so why should I care about being absent? I come first. That said, I’m going to get a note to explain my absence from work.

I’m really uncomfortable. My midsection feels like it weighs a tonne. I’m ready for this to be over, but I know my journey is just beginning.

END OF DAY UPDATE: What is up with these thick needles? I got myself geared up just before 10 to trigger with suprefact. I got the drug in the syringe and was ready to go. It was actually the easiest part of the whole process. I cleaned the area where I would do the injection. Then I tried to shove it in and failed. So I decided to ice the area a bit to help it along. Here goes round 2. I pinched the area and tried to push the damn thing in. HARDER! This was just sad. I did finally get it in, though. It was quite the adventure to slowly inject 1mL of suprefact into me. It felt like it would never end. The site stung for about 10 minutes afterwards. I’m really glad that I picked up the meds before going to the clinic. The instructions from the pharmacy were wrong and had me taking 1/10 of the actual dose. EEP! I will definitely follow up with them. That is NOT an acceptable mistake. Anyhoo, now I wait for ER.

Oh. I gave myself 50IU of gonal-f when I got home. Don’t judge me.

I realized that the clinic didn’t expect me to respond so quickly. If I have to do this again, I will definitely do my monitoring at the clinic so they can do bloods if necessary. It’s funny because my ultrasound *should* have been on Monday, but because it is a holiday, they made me do it after only 4 days of stimming. Nobody expected this. I like to keep them on their toes.

Did I mention the doctor doing my ER had a mishap when she did a C-section? Ya. I’m NOT happy about that. I won’t tell Nanuq because he would worry. He’s a little protective of me.

IVF #1 – Update

I’m double posting today. I got lazy about posting the last entry. Forgive me.

So I took 200 IU of gonal-f on Monday through Thursday. Friday at 1PM, I had my follow-up ultrasound at a local clinic. I must say that it was worth every penny. The technician was friendly (and pregnant). She took 33 images and said I have a lot of follicles. She also pointed out that my left ovary is a lot smaller than my right and that a smaller ovary is common in women with PCOS. It appears my left ovary is lazy and the right one seems to be the one doing all the work (developing follicles). Interesting. I will have to ask Dr. Curly about this next time I see him.

Speaking of Dr. Curly, I have been trying to convince him to let me have a saline ultrasound or an HSG to check for polyps before my FET. I would rather treat anything there before wasting a perfectly good embryo on a cycle that is destined to fail because of the presence of a polyp. Getting him to understand my request over e-mail is impossible. I can’t remember how many times I’ve told people at that clinic that I’m NOT doing a fresh transfer. I’ll have to book an appointment with him to explain it to him in person.

Thank goodness I’m one to self advocate. Even though the ultrasound report was faxed, the clinic still sat on it. So I called back and forced them to look at it rather than just leaving it in the pile. HELLO!! Woman mid-cycle! It’s a good thing I did because here is the update:

– I have 11 follicles (mainly on my right ovary) over 10mm
– I have 13 follicles hovering around 10mm on my left ovary
– I have 16 follicles hovering around 10mm on my right ovary
– I have a bunch of smaller follicles on both ovaries

No wonder the right one is so big. It’s working overtime to get ‘er done! The lead follicle is about 14.7mm, with the next one around 13mm. So clearly after 4 days of gonal-f, my body has gotten to work! I was instructed to take a dose of orgalutran ASAP. My next ultrasound is on Sunday and collection (ER) will be some time next week. They are also going to check my estrogen (E2) levels to make sure they’re not out of control. I’m really hoping I can bully talk them into having collection on Wednesday because I have a lot of meetings at work on Tuesday that I shouldn’t miss.

The clinic instructed me to continue my regular dose of gonal-f. With a lead follicle at 14.7mm and my desire to have ER on Wednesday, I was making my own decision about that. I ended up only injecting 125IU of gonal-f last night instead of 200IU. Hopefully enough to tickle some of those follicles hovering around 10mm, but not enough to do too much damage to the lead follicles. I will likely inject 100IU tonight and will see what is going on tomorrow. I have way too much gonal-f, but if I can’t return it to the pharmacy, I will gift it to someone.

So let’s talk about orgalutran. That ish is CRAZY. I could barely inject the damn thing because the syringe is so thick. It was such a gong show. I spilled some of it because I pressed the plunger by accident before injecting the needle. I used my upper thigh as an injection site like the pamphlet said. Then I took it out too soon and realized I still had more to inject, so I wiped off the syringe with rubbing alcohol and stuck it back in to get that last bit in. The orgalutran was kind of oozing out of the first injection site That stuff stings. A lot. My leg was sore for about an hour after. Orgalutran, I can’t pronounce your name and I don’t like you. I wonder why the damn syringe is so thick?

This morning, I injected it into my stomach. It was still a bit challenging to get the needle to go in, but I got it done. Now it’s time to coordinate my meds. I don’t think I will need more orgalutran because I have enough to take me to Tuesday morning, but I will need the buserelin (aka Suprefact) for my trigger shot.

This is real! Now to figure out who can be with me when I do ER since they won’t let me go alone. Pffft.